Friday, February 09, 2007
I guess you guys would think that opening and checking out my blog is a total waste of time, annoying. Probably due to the fact that I blog less often and because of that 'Because of you song' which many of you dislike. You are right in some sense however I've got my reasons. First of all before I start, I would like to apologies to those who I've agitated. Oh no! It getting so tense and serious. Haha.
Seriously being in the second year of junior college isn't fun at all. Meaning the academic part because all those thoughts of achieving good grades or upholding the expectations of others can be pretty disturbing. It kind of constantly reminds me of my past failures and these can generate negative and yet positive motivation. In another words driven by my past failure to do well. Well, to somebody else it might have been a bliss for such things to happen. However to me, I see it beyond that positive motivation. I don't want to be motivated by the wrong factors cause it reveals only the real intention of mine, that is to prove that I'm capable of doing better, I'm not a loser. You see this is negative to me. What I truly yearn for is how my master wants me to live. It's all about surrendering and letting him take control of everything, knowing that I still have a long way to learn!
So, because of all these negative thinking which I have to rectify, it took away most of my time by engaging in some so-called "competitive, self-edifying studying". It's highly unhealthy and I trust that more side effects will follow. So, the time spend on blogging about god's grace in my life of cause diminishes when I'm set to follow my own agenda instead of his. One big problem of mine. Hope that you guys will pray for me!
Today is considered a holiday (that's why I can blog! Heh.) for me cause this morning I had my first annual road run with this college. It was held at the East coast Park and I'm proud to say that I completed the mass run without stopping! Hooray. A sense of rhapsody and achievement filled my heart when I dash passed the finishing line. Even though today was just a 3km run but then it's different for me. I've ran the 5km the previous year but then this time is different. Before the race, I knew that my stamina has decreased dramatically when I entered this college and thus I've been struggling even with my 2.4km. It's quite amazing that god gave me the courage to confront my fear and hence this 3km meant a lot to me. When I was running not even half way through, I felt like giving up cause my legs started to feel so heavy. However when I realized that I'm doing it for the lord, everything feels much easier and I made it! Yeah I'm going to keep up this attitude and by the time a' levels is over, I'll be ready for OCS!
Yesterday night my cell group had our very first meeting at Thomson Plaza. It's a good start for all of us (other than the traveling part for me! Heh.) as we all shared experiences that we had for the pass week. Learnt quite a few meaningful and intrinsic things through the experiences that god has placed in other people lives. One of them leaves me pondering for quite some time. Now I'm going to share with you. When someone else gives you shit, it doesn't necessary meant to be bad for you ( pardon me for a bit uncivilized). It's all about perspectives and for me I know that I've got to look things through heavenly eyes.
God bless you all.
Cos everyone is special
when you look through heaven's eyes
posted @ 2:27 PM
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